I feel like 2017 is the year of digestion here on the blog. It's only April and I feel like I've talked about my stomach issues a billion times in the past 4 months. I'm going to keep it going with today's post though because this is one that I am so excited to write.
It's been about 3 weeks now of almost no stomach issues. That is crazy and exciting; all of the good things! I am freaking PUMPED about this and when I tell you this story you're not going to understand because I certainly don't get it. But I'm not complaining, just excitedly sharing.
Last month I was miserable and frustrated with my stomach deal. Miserable to the point that I decided one Saturday afternoon that Darrin and I were going to go get burgers and fries and I was going to make myself as sick as possible because I was so upset. Logical, right!? I spent the week prior to this point eating the cleanest diet ever. Vegan, 100% plant based, no processed sugar, and hardly any fruit sugars either.
We head to Burgatory and I order a veggie burger with a gluten filled bun and french fries on the side. I was excited to eat the food because who doesn't like veggie burgers and a generous serving of deliciously seasoned french fries?! As excited as I was, I was kind of nervous and feeling bad about breaking my super clean diet streak. It wasn't working though and my feelings of sadness surrounding that weren't strong enough to stop me from digging in when my meal was brought to me.
I ate my food and loved every greasy, gluten filled bite. Once I was done Darrin asked me how I felt and as I thought about it I realized that I felt good? I felt better than I did when we walked in? Our burgers were followed by some gluten filled banana bread and an oatmeal cookie because why not. The night went on as they do when your body isn't in pain and I was in total disbelief.
The following day I was thinking about my previous night and decided to try to see how long I could eat gluten before getting sick. I've been eating gluten every day since that Burgatory trip and the sickness has yet to come.
I really haven't changed anything else in my diet except incorporating gluten back into my diet in the form of sprouted grain bread and occasional handfuls of crackers. But things with my stomach have been so good.
Three years ago when I removed gluten I knew that it helped me to remove it. This year when I reincorporated it I want to believe that it was a sign from my body saying that things change and it's okay to eat this thing again. I think that I was stressing myself out so much trying to figure out what was causing my stomach pain that I created a lot of my problems in my head.
"Is this gluten free?"
"Oh god, I hope that didn't have gluten in it or I'll be so sick!"
"I can't eat gluten, it totally disagrees with my body!"
I'd stress out a lot about gluten to the point that I think not eating it was doing more harm than eating it would have done. When I started to eat it again and didn't have any negative reactions I think it was a sign from my body that it's okay and my rigidity was no longer serving a purpose.
I'm not telling you to go out and have a gluten filled binge if you're gluten free and having stomach problems. All I'm saying is that my stress and fears surrounding it might have been the root of my issues. When I finally gave in and just let myself eat it I felt okay again. I take that as a sign from my body praising me for letting go.
We're constantly changing and it's a beautiful thing. Some things that worked for us 5 years ago no longer work for us and somethings that never worked for us could suddenly become okay. That's why it's so important to experiment and not get stuck in patterns that make us feel comfortable, especially when are bodies are telling us that what we're doing really isn't working.
So I'm back to eating gluten again. After 3.5 years of being gluten free I have so much bread and cinnamon rolls to catch up on.
I think the main thing that I learned through all of this is that our minds are so, so powerful. We have amazing control over our bodies and with a little bit of stepping outside of our structured ways and experimenting things that you never thought could happen, happen.
That's a really awesome thing.